Living, Loving and Laughing...
Aloha Everyone,
I sent this onto as many people as I could. I have watched it three times in a row. If you were ever bullied, sad, or just couldn’t figure out where you belonged, this young poet hits it. I cried openly, and laughed, for like a lot of folks who made it- he has a sense of humor. I think, some of you will see yourself, I did.
His questions as a child…well, they are some of the ones that are bothering me now. It is only ten minutes long…and lasts a lifetime. Kevin
I wonder, where, oh where, did we get the idea that the way we live now, is the way we have to live forever, and ever more? Especially when we look around and can see that we don’t even use the same tools we did before. When is the last time you had to walk to a phone? And dial? Phones aren’t fixed to a wall anymore, they are in your pocket, the same pocket with a smart phone, holds all the information in all the libraries in the world.
How many people you stay in constant contact with, live with you? Two? Four? Maybe seven, if you are lucky. How many are on your contact list? Your FACEBOOK page? Your Twitter account? Your social circle is giant sized compared to just 20 years ago. How many phone numbers have you memorized? Any?
How many checks have you written this month? Where and when do you watch movies? How many team sports do you play? Online or in real life? How much debt are you in? It might surprise you to know, that in 1959 – no one I knew was in debt. There were no credit cards- and if you didn’t have cash, you didn’t buy anything.
I knew exactly one kid, who came from a divorced home. One. I only knew two families who had less than five kids. Blacks could not use rest areas on Highways, and Gays weren’t even mentioned. Today, African Americans, Latinos, and Gays, are just Americans for most folks- and have risen to power in every field of endeavor. Women, who numbered less than a few percent of the work force, and college students of the time – now outnumber men in sheer numbers of college students, and in most business arenas. Oh, to be sure, there is a long way to go for any “minority” group, but progress had definitely been made.
On an Individual level, we are living longer, healthier, and smarter, than ever before. So, why this line of thought we feed ourselves that we can’t change? That we are stuck? That we have done what we could with our lives. NO YOU HAVEN’T. You just bought into someone else’s dream killing belief system. It is your life. It has always been your life. You may have made commitments, and feel you have a duty to uphold- and maybe you do. Yet, if you think you can’t change them – you are wrong. It isn’t easy to change, and it sure isn’t easy on the folks around you- but you can become who you want to be.
You can share the journey, or make your own. You can give up your choices, which is a choice in and of itself. Change , as the saying goes – is inevitable – growth is optional. Take the options! Can’t move to a warmer climate because what would your relatives do without you? Well, move to the warmer place- they will visit! Especially in winter. Want to play sports but your partner doesn’t want to? Play, and make sure they have a nice seat to watch. LOL You do have to compromise some things to get along, but no where, no way, no when, do you have to compromise yourself.
When you die, only you go. Nobody else can die for you. So why not LIVE for you? No one else can live for you either. Wishes, can become dreams, which can become goals, which can become reality. Of course, there are no guarantees, so, guess what? A dream can become a Nightmare- and a real one. Risk, is part of life, and managed risk is still risky. On the other hand, without risk, you shall never know what you might be, do, or meet. Grow, or stop. Or , if you are truly lucky, you have found your bliss and are contented- for now. Move a pebble, and the stone falls…Life, is not a rock.
Okay, granted, most folks don’t watch a baseball documentary about a weird pitch (the knuckleball) and find wisdom galore. But, we aren’t most folks, we are us!
What do I mean about “Wisdom Galore?”
1) The pitch is not thrown with the knuckles. It is thrown by pressing the fingernails into the seam and taking off all spin on the ball.
Lessons? Several!
a) The pitch was named by people who couldn’t throw it.
b) No one can hit it, because it doesn’t do what it is supposed to do- spin.
c) Of the eight pitchers who mastered the knuckleball, three are in the Hall of Fame- and are considered : Freaks.
2) In the Documentary, the two current knuckleball throwers, had almost given up, many, many, many times. They didn’t. As a result, they had careers nearly twice as long as the average Big League Pitcher; pitching well into their forties.
Lessons? Plenty.
a) They never gave up. Ever.
b) They paid their dues, many times. At the end, they were rewarded.
c) They stopped listening to the naysayers. The knew how fickle fans could be. They started to understand history, and they reached out for the guys who came before them.
3) The current guys, went back and found the “old guys’. The sought their advice, and asked for technique tips.
Lessons? Oh, wow!
a) They went to the well of the wisdom of experience. That alone is amazing. But they also listened to what the “old guys” had to say, and that is downright stunning. Who does that anymore? They did. And it helped.
Here are a few of the profound exchanges between the young guys and the old guys:
YG: I have this video of my last game. I lost. Here is me pitching to the batter. What did I do wrong?
OG: Oh, look. You are throwing to hard! Knuckelballs need to be down in the 45 to 50 mile an hour range.
YG: I see. Man, it is hard to hold back, when you have been trained your whole life to give it all you have. (Profound statement #1)
OG: Yes, I know. (smiles), What you have to do, is this: let your arm go soft. Think of it as a noodle, or a piece of rubber, or a half filled water balloon. You can’t throw hard, with a soft arm.
YG: (His face lights up) I can do that! I can use that.
YG: What do I do when I am throwing lousy pitches?
OG: That happens. You have to take the bad with the good. Sometimes, the outcome is unpredictable. (Profound statement #2) Because the outcome is unpredictable, the next pitch is unknown, and that is great!
YG: Great?
OG: Yes. Because the next pitch is totally unconnected to the last pitch, except in your mind. So, when you throw the next pitch- just think in your head: “This next pitch is going to be magical. It is going to be the best pitch I ever threw.”
Later, they young guy is facing the last out, if he gets the batter out, they go to the World Series, for the first time in 100 years. He starts to wind up, and he hears a voice over his shoulder whisper: “This is the best pitch you are ever going to throw. It is magical.”
He gets the guy out, they move into the World Series- and win.
Okay, now – Billionaires. There is a News story on at the gate I am waiting for my airplane at. I can’t get away, to close to boarding time. So, I watch. It is about the new Forbes ranking of the Wealthiest people in the world. What catches my minds eye is not the names, but this salient fact:
In 2012 there were like 749 Billionaires in the world. In 2013, there were more than 1100!
Think about that, in a world suffering global downturns in almost every financial market- the number of billionaires almost doubled. Four hundred, or more, stepped up into the ranks of billionaires. Even more stunning, the number of millionaires increases every minute!
Supposedly, in the USA, a new millionaire is minted every 63 minutes. I told my fellow passengers:
“We are from the USA, and we all have an hour. I wonder who will be next?”
They didn’t get it, but, at least I tried.
The point I am making here is twofold: Everyone who became wealthy, did it in one lifetime. One. Some started with nothing, some with a bit of cash, and a few started with family fortunes. Still, they made it happen in a single lifetime. The second point is this: when the News was filled with gloom and despair, some folks saw opportunity. Perhaps, they are the knuckleballers of finance?
Perhaps most of us come from a place of lack, of not enough, or making ends meet; and we can’t imagine (and therefore can’t achieve) having more than enough. We write success off to: luck, chance, or serendipity. Why I am sure that luck plays a role, it isn’t the major role!
If all you can imagine is either breaking even , or going under- then those are the outcomes that will present themselves. Let me tell you this story about a guy I met from Finland:
“I am an architect. I build sustainable buildings. Ones that have every modern convenience: air conditioning, heat, fresh water (and plenty of it), good healthy food, and high tech gadgets. Yet, I build these building to leave almost no footprint. 100% self sustaining. Because I don’t believe that man has to go without, to be conscious of the planet, or the environment.
In a building with more than a thousand people in it, you have to cool the building! Even in winter. So, how do you keep the heat in the building when it is empty? We figured out ways to do this. To save water, to grow plants with their roots bathed in nutrient sprays. To use plants to extract all the unhealthy things in waste water- and then use those plants to feed plants we can eat.
We can still be super civilized, without damaging the planet, the environment, and without costing us to be constantly concerned with money. ”
Now, how often has his story been told? He sees a future of plenty, of greater yields, of smarter uses of resources. He didn’t drop out of society, and hide from the worlds problems; he figured out ways to make it a better place to live. Another knuckleballer.
And then this final story from a 95 year old gold medalist in the Senior Olympic Games. He started swimming at age 77, because, as he says: “I was sedentary, and sure didn’t want to run!” By his mid 80′s , he was ranked in the top ten for his age group. In his 90′s he got the silver medal three times- and then, won gold.
He finally beat the guy he always came in second too. I asked him how he did that:
“It was easy. I just outlived him. ”
And that is profound statement number three.
Smiles, Kevin
What’s an “F” ? It is a letter. It is a grade. It isn’t you. It isn’t even human. The head of the Biology Department – at Harvard- never took a math class. Why? He didn’t like math. Yet, he got a Ph.D in Biology. Why? He liked biology. He still does. He took an Algebra class , after teaching for more than 20 years. You don’t need Math to do good science, you do have to be curious, intuitive, and not afraid to fail.
I once had a friend (since passed on) who owned a small steel mill. He never went to college. Yet, he employed more than two dozen Ph.D’s in Materials Science, Physics, and Chemistry. He used to joke that he had the most educated work force of any business with only a 100 workers- and they all worked for a “C” student. LOL
What successful people have in common is just three simple things:
1) They have passion for what they do.
2) They do the work- whether it is mental, physical, sales, or business. (or a personal relationship-like marriage)
3) They can handle “failure” as a setback, part of the process of learning. Failure isn’t an event- or the end. For many of us, failure is the reason we moved on to grow stronger.
When you were learning to walk, did you fall onto your bum, stop, and sit there- immobile: never willing to use your legs again, because you failed to walk? Of course not. You just got your little butt up off the floor, and tried again. Name anyone of any merit, and they got up off of their butt, and tried again.
One of the advantages of us old farts, is we have lived this. We know an “F” is not the end of the world. If your GPA, isn’t to the left of the decimal- we know you are working outside your area of interest. (Or someone else is either paying for your college, or pressured you to be there).
Take me for example. I am taking a Class at Harvard (online) called: CS50X. It is an introductory class in Computer Science and basic programming. I started late, but, am not trying to play catch up- yet. Why? I know it is difficult stuff for me. I know if I take my time on these first few weeks- my foundation will be stronger, and I can make up lost time later . Without that solid beginning, my whole semester will be shaky.
If , however, I learn the basics, and don’t end up finishing all 12 weeks- I may get an “F” in the class, but I will know more than I ever did about computers and programming. It doesn’t scare me to not be as smart as the other folks who finished the 12 weeks, in 3!
It won’t bother me if I fail. I will take it again. I don’t want the grade, I want the knowledge. To be Honest, I really want the T-shirt! I won’t wear it , unless I earn it. Someday, you will see me wearing a CS50 Harvard T-shirt.
Find your passion, do the work, embrace failure = success.
That is the formula us old farts use.
Okay, if the last decade and some change has showed us anything, it is that all of us need to start living our own lives. America has become doggone near a Corporate Conglomerate– which is good for business, but sucks for individuals. In our economy, we need jobs – because it is set up that way. Without work, well, your lifestyle has to be one of frugality, perhaps, or living your day, your way.
So, what can you do this year?
1) Get out of debt. It is what the system wants you to be in. Tied to a job that is killing you, and material things that feel like an anchor. Heck, if you are young, get a backpack and move around. If you are older consider renting, and being self sufficient. If you are old, find a way to downsize, and give back.
2) Think of what you really want to do with your life, and find some ways to make that happen.
3) Make sure you know what your basic needs are, and meet them. Anything after that becomes your life, your way!
4) Find some meaning in your life- things that make you smile. Things that make you think, or work hard, but for your dreams.
5) Get your body and mind in sync. Don’t look pretty to be pretty – look good because you feel good. Stop thinking about those ten pounds- and feel good about yourself. Can you move without pain? Can you do the physical things you want to do? Well, then, forget about losing those last ten pound to look perfect.
It seems to me, that a lot of us want to wax an already clean car. It is just polish. Everything worked and was clean- the extra effort, just turns into stress. Stress is the big killer. Not the extra ten pounds. Now, if you have an extra fifty pounds, you might consider some changes. LOL
Okay, it is your life, it is your year. Use it for you. Build a life you like living, and then, live it.
Smiles, Kevin
Happy New Year Everyone!
Here are my wishes for the New Year:
Make it a “do” year! I will do this, instead of I won’t “do” that!
Find your Bliss. Follow your dream.
Let go, let grow, and let it out.
Have more fun being you.
Wake up each day, and start with “Thanks.” Build from there.
Make it possible.
It is a new beginning, keep the foundation, everything else is subject to change.
There are no limits, there never were.
Finally this; may: peace, creativity, love, forgiveness, work you like, people you care for, and meaning be the majority of your New Year! Peace. Kevin
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