Just the two of us. Yet, there is only one person standing there, so how is that possible. We don’t know.
As you read this, there are (at least) two of you in your mind reading. One part of your brain/mind is the stable part, what the Psychiatrists like to call : Personality. It is the part of you that remains stable over your lifetime. If you are generally quiet, you probably always have been. If you laugh easily, and a lot, you probably always did. If you are an introvert, or extrovert, you probably always will be- at least to some extent.
That stable personality, is the one most of us, and the people who know us, would recognize as : You. It is your character over time. When you break that mold, folks who know you will say: “Oh, that is not like her at all.” Even you , yourself, might say: “That wasn’t like me. I don’t usually say, act, or do, something like that. ”
So, that is one : You. I am not sure you can change that “you” in any real deep way, you can only polish it a bit, and widen it a bit. Perhaps as an introvert, you can learn to manage a team, run a meeting, or lead a particular event; but, only in context. Once the meeting, event, or team- disbands or is over, then you quietly mind your own business again.
To change your core “You”, well that would be Quantum Change. I know few who truly changed their core. Even folks who changed their core beliefs : discovering a religion after being an atheist, for example. Didn’t really “change”. they just brought their mind, fire, and outlook, to a new viewpoint. They chased their newborn Faith, with the same passion and determination they used to chase their non belief with. Only an idea changed, not the process.
The other you. Well, that is the one you can experiment with, the one where you consciously change something, until it become habit- replacing one habit with another…looks, on the surface – like change. It isn’t. You did change the drapes on the window, but the window is still there. Only the curtains have been replaced by blinds. A big difference, but not a real change. Now, if you took the windows out, and added a door and a patio- then you changed something.
Most of us find real change difficult, and usually not very long lasting. Like lottery winners. Social scientists found that more than half of all lottery winners are broke within a few years of winning the lottery. No matter how many millions they won in that lottery. Closer inspection of the reasons for that, found that most folks couldn’t leave their comfort zones. If they were used to making 50 grand a year, then they did whatever it took, to get back to only having 50 Grand.
Being wealthy, and keeping wealth, turn out to be learned behaviors! You have to learn about money, its management, its limitations, and how you personally feel about money. There are procedures in place now, to educate and train lottery winners to understand and keep their new wealth. Recent studies show that – with help- most lottery winners now keep the majority of their wealth.
So, did they change? Or did they just use that second self, the one that can be changes fairly easily? Or did they actually change ? I am not sure. I don’t even know why I like certain paintings, and not others. I spent months trying to figure what colors, styles, techniques, and even the subjects of paintings attracted me. In the end, well, I just like some paintings and not others. In general, I like bright colors. But , not always. In general, I like pictures with boats. But not always. In general, I like pictures that have no people in them, but, not always.
So, is it the “not always part” that is the part I can change? Where as the larger part of me will always like paintings with boats in them? Boats empty of people?
Are we like icebergs, with a massive core of who we are lying unseen deep with in ourselves? Or do we change the surface things so people see who we think we are? I don’t know, but I do know the two people living in your head right now, are discussing this. In fact, you can have a conversation in your own head, with two viewpoints, and even two tones of voice- and they are both you.
So, think about it. Just the two of you. LOL